CHARLIE BROOKER HAS a great idea for Christmas guests--guess the song. Some songs have surprisingly murky lyrics. Guess the mainstream songs from these lyrical summaries.
1. A man lurks outside a woman's house all night, stabs her to death at sunrise, then sings to her corpse until police arrive.
2. A man asks his dancing partner to move back because she has given him an obvious erection.
3. An insane individual decides to monitor the object of his affection's movements 24 hours a day.
4. A woman extols the virtues of multiple orgasms, describing how she shivers with pleasure when her lover's hand approaches her genitals, and alludes to cunnilingus for good measure.
5. Riding in an underground train carriage, high on an unspecified substance, a man spots an attractive woman sitting with her boyfriend and immediately becomes convinced that divine forces want him to possess her.
6. Within seconds of meeting a woman in a nightclub, a man describes his intention to insert his manhood into her until she perspires, penetrating deeper each time she makes a sound.
7. A girl commands a boy to put on a condom so they can have sex for the first time.
8. A man clearly and explicitly threatens to murder his girlfriend if he so much as spots her with another man.
9. As he leaves for work, a grown man implores a three-year-old girl not to smooch anyone else while he's away.
10. In a cathartic explosion of rage, a man slaughters three local hoodlums who gang-raped his girlfriend.
1. Tom Jones -- "Delilah"
2. Blue -- "Too Close"
3. The Police -- "Every Breath You Take"
4. Diana Ross -- "Chain Reaction"
5. James Blunt -- "You're Beautiful"
6. Inner Circle -- "Sweat"
7. The Spice Girls -- "2 Become 1"
8. The Beatles -- "Run for Your Life"
9. Brotherhood of Man -- "Save Your Kisses for Me"
10. Kenny Rogers -- "Coward of the County"
