SAY WHAT YOU WILL about President George W. Bush, but few international politicians have done more to advance the careers of comedians than the most unpopular President in the history of the United States. Some of his burblings made easy copy for corrections by first year students enrolled in a Media Writing course that I teach. For posterity's sake, I've included a few of these gems below. You wouldn't be able to scrape the same kind of creative prose in Ireland because the record of the Dail are normally sanitised to remove gaffes.
"Will the highways on the internet become more few?"
"It's a time of sorrow and sadness when we lose a loss of life."
"I appreciate the fact that you ewally snatched defeat out of the jaws of those who are trying to defeat us in Iraq."
"I remember meeting a mother of a child who was adducted by the North Koreans right here in the Oval Office."
"We're concerned about Aids inside our White House--make no mistake about it."
"I'm honoured to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein."
"I've coined new words like 'misunderstanding'".
"I recently met with the finance minister of the Palestinian Authority, was very impressed by his grasp of finances."
"It's in our country's interests to find those who would do harm to us and get them out of harm's way."
"One year ago today, the time for excuse-making has come to an end."
"I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn't here."
"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test."
"I don't particularly like it when people put words in my mouth, either, by the way, unless I say it."
"[The Taliban] have no disregard for human life."
"When the governor calls, I answer his phone."
"Those who enter the country illegally violate the law."
"Too many obstetricians and gynaecologists aren't able to proctise their love with women all across the country."
"America stands for liberty, for the pursuit of happiness, and for the unalienalienable right of life."
"One has a stronger hand when there's more people playing your same cards."
"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures."
"My job is a decision-making job, and as a result, I make a lot of decisions."
"I think we agree, the past is over."
Collected by Sarah Baxter in the Sunday Times -- "That's all folks!" 18 January 2009.